Thursday, September 24, 2009

What they don't put in the Ironman inspirational videos

Everyone knows bodily functions are not a taboo topic in the world of endurance sports.  I actually sometimes have to remind myself that my coworkers don't really care if I've gotten my "business" done before I get to work quite like my running buddies do before a morning workout (hey, it affects everyone if you've gotta get some "business" done in the middle of the run).

It amuses me the way that runners and triathletes talk about their potty status like its the weather.  But then (as you know), I love a good poop story.  These days though, I'm about at my quota of stories about bodily fluids.

Ironman race reports have been flying around this past week and I'm not exaggerating when I tell you that every report I read or heard talked about poop, puke, or blood.  Every. Single. One.

In fact, there's more than one report about people puking during the swim -  that's the first two hours of the race - and it goes downhill from there.  The bike seems to have had its share of blood, and a little puke (way to rally from the puke-fest to place 3rd Hilary!), and a whole lotta "I had a hard time eating," (which meant puking was on the horizon).  And apparently things just completely fall apart on the run.  I will spare you the details.

I'm completely repulsed, but its a little like the car wreck that you can't look away're totally grossed out and yet you find yourself saying things like "how bad did it get?" 

I now know why Ironman registration is the morning after the race.  You're still high off watching the glory of the finish line.  Mike Reilly's voice is whispering in your ear, "you could be an Ironman."  And all those Iron-peeps are still sleeping.  Which means they haven't had time to get their race reports out yet to taint your Ironman-finisher dreams with reality.  Otherwise, I think that registration line might be a lot shorter.

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