Monday, May 5, 2008

If you don't have anything nice to say....

You know how when you don't have anything nice to shouldn't say anything at all? Well, I probably shouldn't blog today because I don't have anything nice to say. Really. I can't come up with one positive thing to blog about right now.

So if you don't want to be pulled into my downward spiral of negativity you should probably stop reading. Come back and visit later when I have my attitude adjusted and my head back on straight.

If your sticking around for the goes....

My training sucks. My time management sucks. My nutrition sucks. Everything just seems to be sucking right now. And I guess everything is all intertwined so if one thing gets out of whack, of course it would all be out of whack.

I'm tired. Cranky. Busy. And I didn't work out at all last week. That's right. Not - one - workout. For seven whole days. Am I a serious athlete or what?

It all started out innocently enough. I ran crazylegs in crap weather. Then I went out....on a Saturday night....and drank a glass of wine....and it was downhill from there. Do you see how fragile this system is?

I had called off the Sunday bike ride the night before because they were calling for a chance of snow. I draw the line for hard-core triathlete girl perseverance at snow. So I went out Saturday night and and enjoyed myself. And no, I wasn't nursing a hangover the next morning....but I guess I forgot how great it felt to go out for dinner on the weekend. And drink a few glasses of wine. It felt so good that I wanted to remember what sleeping in felt like. And going out for breakfast. And then I was already on the road to ruin so I decided to catch up on the million or so errands that I needed to run that I hadn't had time for lately because of all the biking and running nonsense. All the while taking note of the blue skies and mild temperatures.

Never believe the meteorologists. They are just out to make your training miserable. They will predict blue skies and it will pour on you in the middle of your 40 mile ride. They will predict weather bad enough for you to cancel your training session only to have it turn out to be a beautiful day. And then the guilt will eat you alive.

Then as if I didn't feel guilty enough about missing my long weekend ride...a number of relatively non-catastrophic but unavoidable events popped up and created enough of a diversion from my routine to completely derail my training for the rest of the week.

And let me tell you, once the peloton of motivation drops you off the back of the're done. Toast. Welcome to the downward spiral of negativity. We hope you like your stay.

Even when I did manage to get back into the swing of things I had a bad attitude about it. I should have done my long run Saturday, but the weather was crap. Again. And when you haven't worked out for six days...well what's one more?

I knew I had to get up for the MS Walk in the morning on Sunday so I figured I'd just run the 7-mile course and save myself the hassle of a 3-mile walk that wasn't going to help my training anyway. And if there is one shining moment in the past week it was my Sunday morning run. It was such a perfectly beautiful day....and having the water stops was so nice....and they had bananas and pretzels, how thoughtful. I almost had a positive mental breakthrough during that run until I realized I was competing against walkers. Not that it was a competition....because it wasn't. But you know it always is in your lets be real. And at this point I needed to mentally feel like I was "beating" all those walkers I passed. But then when I did stop to walk a few times after passing people they would almost catch me. I'd have to start running again to stay ahead of them. So apparently I'm slow at EVERYthing. Even walking.

Then I promptly went from 7-mile run to 3 hour bike ride with two motivated cyclists not currently under the influence of any negative spiraling action....which only made mine worse. Compounded by the fact that I was busting my tail just trying to keep them in sight on the ride. We ended up with a mechanical malfunction that ended the ride after only 2.5 hours and I couldn't have been more relieved.

And now here I am. Staring at another full week. Wondering if I can get it all done. And trying to get my head in the game with this training. When did it stop being fun and start being a chore? And how do I get back to the fun?

Fun or not, I told myself that this week I was going to stick to the training plan 100%. No slacking. Even if my head's not in the game, my body's going to be. Ok, so now I need to go find my training plan......

1 comment:

twiceknit said...

If it's any consolation, even your "whining" makes me laugh. You have quite a way with words. Hope the week is looking up.