(Note: I did write this on MLK Day -- which made the theme make a whole lot more sense -- but then I got a little busy entertaining guests at my little mountain B&B. And then we got pummeled with snow that needed to be skied. So I'm just getting around to posting it now. But hey, its the mountains. These things happen. Powder days won't wait until tomorrow, but blogger has a save button.)
Take the first step in faith. You don't have to see the whole staircase, just take the first step. --- Martin Luther King, Jr.
So much of life seems to be spent figuring it out. Plotting and planning, picking routes and end goals. I am typically one to analyze a situation to death and then take absolutely no action when a definite end destination (an unrealistic expectation to begin with) can't be determined. But I am starting to learn that you don't have to have the whole thing figured out to get started. In fact, if you wait until you do, you'll probably never get anywhere. Sometimes you just have to take the first step and see what happens. The only thing you really need to know is that you're generally heading in the right direction.
But my dad once said, "If the road's not bumpy, then you're not moving." And that couldn't be more true of where I am right now. I'm moving, but I'm certainly bumping along.
living this crazy dream? Yes.
able to guess what's in store for my life just three months down the road? Nope.
a little frustrated at times? Yes.
a little lonely at times? Yes.
scared of making mistakes? Terrified.
still happy to be here trying to figure it out? Absolutely.
As you can imagine, the tennis match going on in my head between "holy crap I'm doing it" and "OMG what am I doing?" can be tough to watch.
So many people have asked me how its going, and what I think so far. But its been hard sometimes to answer that question because their enthusiasm can feel like pressure to deliver an equally enthusiastic and positive response. When the truth is, the road to the crazy dream is not all sunshine and roses. It can drain you mentally, and physically, and at times not look like the road you thought you were on at all, making it really easy to get discouraged and feel a little lost.
Yet there are so many positive aspects of pushing yourself a little outside your comfort zone. And that's definitely what I needed to do. I knew it wouldn't be easy. I also knew I was up for the challenge. So I'm still bumping along, trying to keep heading in what seems like the right direction, but most importantly, trying to keep moving.