Here's a secret...

(disclaimer: I got this image from Bree Wee's blog a while ago. I think its originally from the Post Secret website.)

Every day is a gift.  Even if that gift is an average day. In an average town, in middle america.

I need to be reminded of this.  Hourly.

Every hour that I spend commuting.  Every hour I spend in a cubicle.  Every hour that I'm not outside playing. Even if it is -6F.

'Tis the season for counting our blessings. And snot freezing right in your nose, like little frozen presents from santa.

Hey santa, you know what else I'd like for Christmas?  A workout.  I realize that might be something more of a Christmas-freaking-miracle at this point, but I used to be an athlete.  Really.  I have the water bottles rattling around in my car to prove it.  Could your reindeer please pick me up and get me to a yoga class one of these days?  Because I'm counting down the days until I head back to the mountains and I fear I will have lost any kind-of "mountain girl" cred I might once have (barely) been able to pull off.

I don't want to spend my precious (now limited, grr) mountain days chasing after my 10,000-feet-of-elevation-living hard bodied friends.  Or worse, sitting out a few runs between joe-corporate-chained-to-my-desk gaper "touron" and his buddies at the slopeside bar.  NO FUN.

But lately there do not seem to be enough hours in my day to keep up with it all.  And admittedly the first thing that goes is the workout.  Because working out is HARD in the middle of winter in middle america.  I sit at a desk all day. Its dark when I get home. I don't have a gym. We just had a blizzard that has effectively made every walkable surface a skating rink.

Should I go on?  I could.  I'm REALLY good at excuses.  But I should really get back to that "to do" list now so that maybe I can squeeze in a workout tomorrow.  Yes.  Tomorrow.  There is always tomorrow. Tomorrow will be yet another precious day not to be taken for granted.

Yup, that's all I've got today

Perpetual Transition

Help!  I'm stuck in transition and I can't find my bike!  Or at least that's what it feels like in my life these days.  Like I'm running the isles of the transition area, scanning rows and rows of bikes, looking for the one that is mine.

Except I'm in a car.  Driving.  Searching for what the next piece of my life is going to look like. Its equally as frustrating, but the scenery is a little better.

About that driving thing.  Apparently there is a lot of it on these crazy road trips.  I always forget that.  I've driven over 3000 miles in two weeks.  From the sweet majestic peaks I called home, through the expanse of the desert, to coastlines and rainforest and everything in between.  Teeny, tiny nowhere towns and major metropolitan areas. No real plan, and only a general direction that could be changed at a moments notice.  Sometimes solo, sometimes with friends old and new.  Its been quite an experience so far.  A crazy, fluid, random experience.  A lesson in patience, perseverance, and living truly in the moment -- which is SO MUCH HARDER than you think.

We talk so much about living life to the fullest, but are we really doing that?  Are we really putting our heart into everything that we do when we're doing it?  Are we being true to ourselves, always?  Are we being ourselves?  Or are we creating a false reality, stifling our passions and personality?

Are we living and loving out loud?

Did I mention there's as much thinking time as driving time on this crazy adventure?  That's a lot of thinking.  And most of it has been without the welcome distraction of cell service.

That is A LOT OF THINKING people.  My brain hurts.  My knees hurt.  My back aches.  I'm more of a mess from sitting in a car than I was from my crazy "three 14ers in two days" excursion.  And yet I really, really needed this.

Transition is good.  Healthy.  Something we don't give enough attention to.  And it is never ending.  We are always transitioning.  Whether we are in control of it or outside influences are forcing it on us, we are constantly in flux.  So I guess its time to learn how to do this.  Practice.  Acknowledge.  Learn.  Grow.  Get comfortable with being uncomfortable.  Appreciate it for what it is.  Get stronger from the inside, radiate beauty outward.  Keep moving forward.

You can't screw it up

I am a big mess of emotion these days.  Big. Mess.

I procrastinated packing until the last possible minute because I am in complete denial about what is happening.  Thankfully, I am lucky enough to have friends who don't half-heartedly ask if they can help -- they just show up and say "here's what we're going to do."  Because they know my brain is already at maximum capacity with the holyhellwhatamidoingwithmylife dilemma.  And they bring wine.  Seriously.  How. Unbelievably. Awesome.  I only hope that I can repay the monumental favor someday.

So I'm packed.  Half of the half of my life that was with me in the mountains is now tucked away in multiple storage spaces around my (ya, that's right I said MY) mountain town.  The other half is half with me and half in the mail to someplace I will call home soon.  Again.  I guess.  For a while anyway.

That's a lot of halves to keep track of.  Which is why half my brain has just blown a circuit and shut-down completely.  Which is maybe for the best.  Because transition is hard.  It seems to be an excuse for my brain to question every decision I've made to that point....why are you doing this?  Why didn't you do that?  Why did you spend one of your last afternoons in town drinking at the local watering hole when you should have been organizing and packing and, I mean really, what was that all about?

You can see where that thought process goes.  Nowhere good, usually.  As I was dumping a good portion of this brain-waste on one of my friends she said "you can't screw it up."  Or something along the lines of "you're doing just what you're supposed to do, and you'll end up where you're supposed to be."  And I'm not sure if she was just grasping for something (anything!) in the moment to get me to shut up already....but I hope that there's some truth to what she said.  That maybe the road that you take to get there won't be exactly the one you thought you'd be on, but that doesn't mean the destination can't be the same.  You can still end up where you want to be.

And so, until then I'm trying to enjoy the journey.  Starting with the step in front of me.  And going from there.  Hopefully, with enough steps, it'll all come back around....it'll all make sense....and it will have a beautiful view of the mountains.

Cold Weather. Hot Frogs.

Dude.  Who turned on winter around here?  Because it is cold.  Like go find your cute winter beanie and wear it around your house all day, cold.  But then, I kinda like wearing my cute little winter hats so maybe I'm just quick to rush to that.

Maybe I'm quick to rush to a lot of things lately.  Like this crazy dream.  Maybe now is not the time.  Maybe this was a teaser.  A little taste to tempt me.  To make me see how much I want it.  How much I desperately, desperately want it.  Just not enough to take big, big risks.  Or maybe....?

Someone once told me a little story that went something like this -- "if you put a frog in a pot of water and gradually turn up the heat, the frog will cook itself to death before jumping to safety.  Whereas, if you put a frog straight into a pot of boiling water it will jump out and save itself."

I think I'm about to be the frog.  The question is, will the water be boiling enough for me to jump out fast and save myself?  Or will I slide into the hot tub and wonder why it keeps getting hotter and more uncomfortable?

Only time will tell.

I want to be excited about the cold.  I'm usually excited about the cold.  I want to be excited about the new season ahead.  About another amazing winter in the mountains.  Instead all I can say is "damn, its cold."

"Do Something Worth Remembering"

What a precious gift to wake up everyday with wonder at the amazing, wild world just outside your doorstep. To take that wonder and live it every day. To share it in a way that inspires creativity in others and continues to drive you to see things differently. We should all be so lucky to truly live our passion everyday, even if it barely pays the rent, right?

"...if I only scrape a living, at least its a living worth scraping....if there's no future in it, at least its a present worth remembering...."

MPORA Action Sports >>

Cut off

It snowed this morning, and not just in the mountains....on my deck.  And my car.  And OMG this winter thing is actually coming.  I would love to show you pictures but blogger says "no more pictures, you're at your limit little missy."  So, sorry about that.  I'm hoping to rectify that situation soon.  Needless to say I went to the coffee shop instead of to the trailhead this morning.  I'm not quite acclimated to (or excited about) miserable-weather hikes just yet.

In honor of cold, dreary weather and off-season boredom I hosted a little dinner party last night.  Small, casual, mostly vegan.  Yup.  Vegan.  And it was delicious.  I would like to show you pictures of that too, but well....there's that little blogger memory problem.  Nuts.

This is the veggie chili recipe I used.  (Thank you to my sis who emailed it to me as I was en route to the grocery store!)  Two thumbs up.  Except for the peeling tomatoes part.  Because that was a pain in my #$%.  Just sayin'.  But its a GREAT party dish.  I was able to do all the prep ahead of time so that when guests showed up I had just two pots on the stove, no more work to do, and no dirty dishes laying around.  So nice.  We roasted up some acorn squash and called it a meal.  Tasty, warm, and so filling.  I do like the cooking when I actually take (err...have) the time to do it.  And even more enjoyable is cooking for others.  What I really loved about this meal was that there happened to be a guest attending who, unbeknownst to me, follows a vegan diet and was so excited that she was at a dinner party where she could actually eat the dinner.

After dinner there were pumpkins to carve, seeds to roast, and more wine to drink.  Such a fun fall night with friends.

My problem lately is that I keep having these parties to get rid of my alcohol, yet somehow I end up with just as much as I started with at the end of the night.  Not a bad problem to have such generous guests, but counterproductive to my intent.

Other than that I'm still "gathering nuts" and watching the snow line creep toward town.  Lots on the table this off-season.