Sunday, April 3, 2011

Cleanse Day 4

I really thought this post would be about poop. Don't lie. You did too.

You probably thought there would be a lot of poop talk this week. But sadly, the most remarkable events of the past few days have mostly just been the near-fatal flatulence. My apologies to anyone who found themselves in the unfortunate predicament of being in a remotely shared space with me recently. Don't blame me, blame the fiber.

This "cleanse" requires popping an obscene amount of pills, morning and night, who's main purpose seems to be to make me bloated and gassy. The only reason I find myself running to the bathroom with any urgency is because all the water necessary to consume said pills needs to be released.

So at least there's been a little excitement.

But in all seriousness, I'm not sure what this cleanse was really supposed to do. It didn't require any dietary restrictions (so, of course, I didn't implement any). So its just been life as usual. Plus pills. And fiber. And, well, room-clearing gas.

But its only day four. So maybe this is all just a sign that things are getting going.

Which is good. Things are getting going in other parts of my life too. I'm going refrain from too many correlations between my bowel movements and my life, but I do think there's some connection. Just pick up a book or two on feng shui. Its not just all about moving your furniture.


Laura said...

dare I say I TOLD YOU SO! :) ha You need to change your dietary habits too sweety. A cleanse is not as simple as taking some pills. I know you hoped it would be. :)

Dano said...

Maybe the purpose of the "cleanse" is to clear away other people that have been cluttering your life